Benny's Job
by SamRuss023
Summary: When Benny, a young woman from Chicago, goes to work as the Gorillaz' secretary/paperwork-writer thing, she has the time of her life. Note: this is back in Phase One, I know.
1. Chapter 1

It was a lovely day in Essex. Rainy and overcast, and not very warm, probably about 39 out.

It was October first, 1999. Benita "Benny" Luanne Chavez-McDonalds had just recently moved to England from Chicago. It had been a very easy move for her. She was 20 on the dot (the day before had been her birthday) and her parents didn't really give a damn if she was in the house or not.

Benny's birthday gift to herself was a new future. So she'd left her little apartment and moved to England, and hadn't told a soul.

She then decided she needed a job, especially considering the currency she was using wasn't from Europe. It was American money and she couldn't very well purchase anything with the wrong currency.

So Benny sat on the bench, looking at the new newspaper. She flipped through until she found job listings. Almost immediately, she found an ad that sounded perfect for her:

"Someone who knows how to do paperwork wanted. Not much experience needed. Kong Studios, Essex, England."

Short , sweet, and to the point. Benny had in fact had lots of experience with paperwork, she had been at the top of her English and Typing courses, and the early business courses she'd taken in high school.

Benny got onto a bus and took it to the bottom of the steep hill.

God, what a weird-ass building! She thought to herself. It was tall, gray, and had a dome for a roof in one place. And the land around it was filthy and…JESUS, what was that smell? It was like spoiled wine, poo, septic tank, fish and rotting flesh, all mixed together to form a badly-mingled stink salad.

But Benny had smelt worse. So she made her way up the hill, to her future.


	2. Chapter 2

Benny walked up the steep hill, and DAMN, was it a long walk! Twenty minutes! And she had jet lag. Four cups of coffee had better have been worth it. They felt as though they'd worked.

"HUZZAH!" she said aloud. She'd made it to the doors. "Now then, let's see what's what at this 'Kong Studios'."

She rang the doorbell with an extended index finger, liking the classic doorbell sound she heard. A screen immediately lit up, showing-

GOOD CHRIST, who the hell (or more like, WHAT the hell) was she seeing? A small television screen lit up, showing a very odd, and maybe even ugly, looking man with black hair that hung nearly over his eyes. And God, what'd happened to the poor fella's nose?

"WOT D'YOU WANT?" he asked in a thickly-accented voice. He, too, and slightly obviously, was British. "I AIN'T GOT ALL DAY, YA TOSSER!"

Benny stood there, unsure of what to say to Mr. Funny-Lookin' Dude on The Tiny T.V. Screen. "Uh- I-I'm just here to apply f-for a job…Can ya hook me up?"

The door was immediately flung open, revealing, once again, Mr. Funny-Lookin'.

Damn, he was an ugly little man. Benny stood at LEAST five noticeable inches taller than him. His skin was an odd jaundiced color, like it wasn't meant to be, and his nose had obviously been broken. And the vibe he gave off. It was all-too familiar to Benny. Another over-confident dickhead who thought they were God's gift to the world and thought they were high and mighty, and thought they were over-the-stars attractive.

This man was unpleasant. She wouldn't have minded him if not for the horrible feelings he gave her. He wore such ladies'-man clothes too: a tight gray sweater, REALLY tight jeans (like gross tight), and Cuban-heel boots. God, Benny REALLY didn't like this man.

"Hullo," he said, pleasantly enough. "You came 'ere for the job listin' I put in the paper?"

"Yup," Benny told him, trying to look him in the eyes. It was not easy. He was gross.

"Well, ya got the soddin' job. No one else's shown up, so the way I see it, first come first serve, eh? So c'mon in." He was making an awful attempt at flirting. Benny had known this man had liked what he saw the moment he'd seen her in person, she'd seen it in his piggy little eyes.

"Thanks," she said, completely ignoring his flirt. Out of the corner of her eye, Benny noticed he looked surprised at the unmentioned rejection she'd given him, but he seemed the persistent type because he hurried to catch up with her when she started through the doors, stopping at a place where he was waaay too close.

"The name's Murdoc," he told her. "Murdoc Niccals. Whatdya call yourself?"

"Benita. Benita Chavez-McDonalds," she told him. "And call me Benny."

She could tell the dude-_Murdoc_-wasn't thrilled with her curtness toward him. It almost made her want to laugh out loud.

"Well," he said hastily, "lemme introduce you to the band. Lard-ass! Face-ache! Noodle!"

At that moment, a non-accented voice called in, "Muds, you call me lard-ass ONE MORE TIME and I'm gonna freakin' beat your ass!"

Then a small, girly voice, in another language, called something.

"Oh bother," Murdoc muttered. "JUST GET IN HERE!"

Just then three more people entered the room. A very big, yet nice-looking man, a little girl with a headset-type thing on, and a tall, lanky blue-haired man with no eyes.

"What didja want, Muds?" asked the big man. Then he noticed Benny. "Oh, hey, what's your name?"

He did have an accent, from New York, it sounded. Cool. Benny loved New York. "The name's Benny," she told him, giving him a smile. "What's your name?"

"Russel," he told her, smiling back.

"Ain't Benny a boy's name?" the lanky man said. He had a thick Cockney accent. It was adorable.

"Nah, it's short for Benita," Benny told him. "And on that note, what is your name?"

"Stuart, but y' can call me 2-D," he told her.

"Okay, nice to meet you as well." Then she looked at the little girl. "Hello there, sweetie, what's your name?"

The girl blushed and looked down. She, too, was adorable, like a little stuffed kitten. "Noodoru," she said quietly.

"It's Noodle," Russel whispered to Benny. "She's got a real thick accent, and I don't speak Japanese too well, so…Just go wit' it."

Benny nodded. "Okay, Noodle. Lovely to meet you. God, you are so adorable!"

Noodle seemed to understand. She blushed furiously and smiled.

This was going to be great.


	3. Chapter 3

It was quite a simple job, this filing paperwork. Benny had gotten it all done in just one hour, and was now enjoying a cup of coffee. The cafeteria was quite a long walk from the front desk she sat at.

Every now and again, she'd hear or see Murdoc, Noodle, or 2-D, but not much more. So she'd gone off in search of Noodle after she'd made her coffee.

She finally found Noodle's room, and politely knocked on the door. It was opened and Noodle looked around, then saw it was Benny.

All Benny recognized was, "Ah, _konichiwa_, Benny-san," and then she said more. But Noodle appeared happy to see her, and stood aside so Benny could enter the room. So her words must have meant, "Hello, how are you," or "Good afternoon," or something along those lines.

"Um, thank you, Noodle," Benny said, walking into the room. It was very neatly decorated, looking almost like a _tatami _room, with pretty lanterns hanging from the ceiling and little imported toys all over the floor. She also noticed that the girl had quite a large collection of movies, recognizing several as the Powerpuff Girls.

Noodle said something else, and Benny desperately wished she could understand. "I'm sorry, honey," she said to the little girl. "I can't understand what you're sayin'!"

Noodle appeared to ponder this a minute, then smacked herself in the forehead, visually scolding herself for forgetting something. She muttered something and quickly bounded out of the room, then came back quickly with a little machine. It looked like a tiny laptop computer. Noodle typed something into its little keyboard, and almost immediately, there came a mechanical woman's voice from the contraption: "I am sorry, I momentarily had forgotten about this translator. That was not smart of me, was it?"

A translator! Of course! "No sweat, kiddo," Benny told Noodle, who stood there excitedly. She was grinning widely, and typed something else.

"Thank God I remembered about it. It will make talking to all of you much easier for me. I do wish I could speak English though."

Benny shrugged. "I'll try to teach ya," she said to Noodle. "With a little help, hopefully."

Benny was once again in the cafeteria, getting herself a snack. Noodle had shown her all of the Powerpuff Girls videos, and _that _had taken two hours.

Christ, Benny thought as she found a bag of potato chips and ripped it open with her teeth. How can a kid like one cartoon so much? But she also found it kind of cute.

Just then she heard someone else enter the room.

She turned to see who it was, trying to keep from cringing when she noticed it was Murdoc. He was wearing no shirt, no shoes, and no pants. Just a pair of briefs.

"Heyy, Be-Benny," he said, obviously inebriated. "Fffsffss…Benny, Benny, Benny, how do you do this fine night?"

Benny scowled, but then let out a laugh. It was 4:30 in the p.m. Way to early to be drunk. So Murdoc had to have had some drinking problems. "Damn, dude, it's like four in the goddamn afternoon," she told him. "You're drunk now?"

"Yep!" Murdoc said, almost like he was proud of it. "Drunk as a fish. Drunk as a-sffs-drruuuuuunk." He doubled over and vomited onto the floor.

Benny was disgusted. "You're a filthy, gross little man, Niccals," she said honestly, hurrying past him.

She nearly bumped into 2-D. "Oh, 'ey!" he said, smiling. Benny noticed he had a cute smile, it was missing its two front teeth. "Wot's goin' on?"

Benny scowled. "Your gross friend Murdoc just blew chunks all over the freakin' floor," she told him.

It was 2-D's turn to scowl. " 'Ee AIN'T maw friend," he told Benny. "Vat dickhead stole me first AND second girlfriend."

Benny scowled again. "Jeez, he ain't too nice, huh?"

2-D shook his head. "He's a jerk."

This was just the beginning of Murdoc's crappy flirting attempts though, much to Benny's dismay.


	4. Chapter 4

It had been two days, and this is exactly how the second one's night went:

Benny was sleeping behind the front desk, there being no other rooms for her to sleep in. It was actually fairly comfy. But after she'd been asleep for two hours…

She heard someone's zipper being unzipped. And some mild swearing, in possible frustration. Then she opened her eyes…

In the darkness, looming over her, stood Murdoc, his pants pooled around his ankles… AND his underpants, as well.

Benny screamed, "JESUS CHRIST!" and threw her paperback at him. It hit him right in the unmentionables. Murdoc yelped in pain.

Russel, hearing her screams, hurried in, wearing normal pajamas. "What da hell is goin' on in here?" he demanded. "Everything okay?"

Noodle hurried in, excited by the commotion. Her translator said, "What is going on in here? Now I am excited!"

After a moment, 2-D clambered in, panting tiredly. He said nothing.

Benny screamed again and pointed at the pantsless Murdoc.

Everyone else noticed him as well, and screamed. Murdoc screamed when he noticed everyone looking at him.

This cycle repeated itself for five minutes straight, until Benny screamed, "YOU GODDAMN PERVERT!" and threw another book at Murdoc, who pulled his pants up and, his face a bright shade of red, ran off, back to his Winnebago.

Everyone strained to catch their breath. Russel was the first to break the silence. "What the hell just happened, Ben?" he asked, looking at the disgusted brunette.

She pointed in the direction Murdoc ran. "That-FREAKIN' grosso," she said, still catching her breath, "apparently was trying to be sexy for me. I have no idea WHAT his intentions were."

Noodle's translator said, "Oh my God, that is diswusbing."

Everyone paused. "Diswusbing?"

Noodle paused and re-typed her sentence. "Disgusting," she verified.

They all nodded, now understanding. "Well, anyhow, are you alright? 'Cause I'll freakin' pound 'im if he did anything to ya," Russel said.

"It's no big deal," Benny told him. "It's fine. Thanks though. You guys can go back to bed."

Everyone left, except 2-D. He lingered, looking around and twiddling his fingers. He finally looked down at Benny. "May I sit?" he asked her.

"Sure, whatever," Benny said, turning the lights back off. 2-D plopped down clumsily next to her, scooting closer.

"Sorry 'bout Murdoc," he said to her. "Really, I am. 'Ee just don't take no for an answer when it comes t' women."

Benny chuckled, shaking her head. "No, he sure don't. Doesn't that prick know I ain't gonna go out wit' him?"

2-D loved her little Chicago accent. It was very cute. And her body looked amazing in the very-oversized men's tank top she wore as a nightgown. "I guess not," he said. "Ee's used t' the ladies jus'…Well, swarmin' around 'im."

"I can't imagine why," Benny responded. "He's disgusting. A goddamn perv. Disgustin'," she repeated. She realized 2-D's gaze had fallen to her chest. "Hello, I'm up here!" she joked, twanging his nose.

2-D blushed furiously, obviously caught. "Sorry!" he said. "It's jus'…Wow. You, erm…You're very, er, pretty."

Benny laughed. "Um, thanks, you too," she said, punching his shoulder.

There was an awkward silence following this, and eventually 2-D bade her "G'night," and walked back to his room.

Wow, Benny thought, that was interestin'.


	5. Chapter 5

It was a lovely day. Once again, it was cold and miserable. Just the right weather for Benny.

It was made quite obvious that 2-D liked her. As more than a friend. It had been two days since the night Murdoc had been peeping at her and all 2-D'd done was look at her, trying to be nonchalant, and running into walls while doing so. It made her giggle.

That day, Benny was typing, about to finish up for the day. This was too easy.

2-D rounded a corner, coming up to her to ask her something. "Erm, hey Benny," he said to her, his hands behind his back. "Wot are you up t'?"

Benny smirked. "Typing," she said to him. "Why, what are _you _up to?"

"Erm," 2-D started, looking around. "D'you…d'you wanna go to the park wit' me? In a li'l while, maybe?"

Benny was surprised, but she was happy. "Why sure!" she told him, finishing her e-mail to the boss of some company. "Let's go now!"

She took his hand, and they got their coats and went out the front doors. It was rainy today, as usual, and the two made their way to the carpark. 2-D told Benny to wait a second, and a moment later he came around the corner with the Geep.

"Cool car, man," Benny told him, getting into the passenger seat. "It's like, a Jeep but…NOT a Jeep, y'know?"

2-D shrugged. "Aw don't usually get t' drive it," he said. "Vat's Murdoc's or Russel's job. I don't know why they don't ask me."

Benny looked straight ahead. "I can't drive a British car yet," she told him. "Back in Chicago, I could drive, but not here."

There was an awkward silence, which filled the rest of the ride.

They were at the park fairly quickly. The ride from Kong wasn't lengthy.

2-D and Benny walked together, and he broke the silence. "So, erm…whatcha fink of vis place?"

Benny smiled. "It's the parkiest park I've ever been to. It's parkin' park, man, like parked up." She laughed.

It took 2-D a moment to get her joke, then he laughed. "Izzat s'posed t' be like a swear code or sumfin'?"

"Well, yeah," she explained. "Like, 'That's so parked up,' or 'You're a parkin' park,' y'know?"

"Ahh," 2-D said, understanding her. "Vat's pretty good."

They walked along, Benny using her newfound swear codes on almost everything. Eventually they stopped to sit. Benny leaned in to 2-D and whispered, "Guess what, D?"

"Wot?" he asked.

"Murdoc wants to park wit' me so badly, I won't be parkin' walkin' right when he's through wit' me," she said, earning a huge burst of laughter from 2-D.

"Oh please," 2-D said, still laughing. "Ee wants t' park wit' every girl ee's ever met."

They both laughed, enjoying their joke at Murdoc's expense. Neither of them liked him very much.

They stayed at the park for another hour, then they went to eat somewhere, then they went back to Kong.

"…and the parking thing won't work for me!" Benny told 2-D, who was laughing so hard his stomach hurt. The twosome nearly ran into Noodle, who was holding her translator. "Hey Noodle, how the park are ya?" Benny said to the now-perplexed little girl.

"What are you spe-spe-speaking of?" the translator said, apparently getting a stuck key.

"It's my new swear code," Benny told her.

"Ah," Noodle said herself, looking down at her translator confusedly. It had been skipping recently. She muttered something to herself and walked out of the room.

2-D looked at Benny. "So, err…wanna get a snack from the cafeteria or sumfink?"

"Sure, that sounds nice," Benny told him, and they walked off towards the cafeteria.

But that was only the beginning of a most unusual day for Benny.


End file.
